Last week Dr. Jasmine and I decided I would work on examining my core values. Turning this gaze inward was absolutely the most challenging and stress inducing endeavor I have taken on since the nervous breakdown almost two months ago.
But I did it with Lies My Depressed Brain Whispers …. and then the anxiety/panic attacks ensued.
I mean, chest crushing anxiety. If there is any way to describe what panic attacks feel like (to me at least), it is as if my mind is a trap. It is like a small bathroom tiled in those mind numbingly bright white subway tiles (you know, the ones that seem to be so popular these days – especially on HGTV kitchen remodels).
The bathroom echoes and vibrates, and the only thing I hear is the sound of the elevated trains — like the ones I used to hear all night from my studio apartment when I lived in Chicago.
In these moments, my brain throbs and painful splinters pierce and shock (especially on the left side of my cranium).
Dr. Jasmine says this is my depressed brain digging in its heels against my efforts to bring forth the secret lies it feeds me.
I don’t want to be that person in the bright white bathroom, cowering in the corner with my hands clamped over my ears.
But I suppose I needed an official permission slip. The proverbial hall pass to self care.
So below is my Action Plan from Dr. Jasmine for the next 7 days.
I am learning to label my panic/anxiety attack, then welcome it (God help me — give me strength), and recognize that it will pass.
[In response to the Daily Post: Argument]