I’m Not Dying [but I breathe now]

After I published my previous blog post (“Smell the Flowers, Blow out the Candle”) earlier this afternoon, it struck me. Maybe the challenges and journeys of life are what Ellie Goulding sings about in her song “My Blood.”

[Granted, it reads as — and probably is — a spurned love song or recovery from a broken heart kind of theme.]

God knows I’m not dying, but I breathe now.

— Ellie Goulding, “My Blood,” Halcyon, 2012

If my brain were going to sing a swan song to my Depressed Brain (and all the anxiety and panic attacks that seem to trail behind on its coattails), I’m pretty sure it would be Goulding’s “My Blood.” The Depressed Brain really secures a strangle-hold on the healthy brain.

I’m ready to dump the feelings and emotions my Depressed Brain releases into the drip line it fixed to me years ago. No thanks. I’ve had enough of your medicine.

Depressed Brain, I’m not dying. I’m hurt. I suffer. I’m definitely weakened — because of you. But I breathe now.  I’m surviving. Someday I will thrive.